My Goal: “Mom & Wife Extraordinaire”

I can’t believe I said it out loud, to a group of 40 people nonetheless. I shared my secret goal in public. As I facilitated a workshop this week, I shared with the group who I felt I was created to be. The class focused on life mapping. As I helped individuals uncover their life’s purpose, I also shared mine. During the creation of the life mapping exercise each person had to begin with their center, who they believed they were to become. I reassured them by stating it’s okay if you haven’t arrived there yet, it’s about discovering who that person is. The next step was to create goals for the other areas of their lives. These goals would assist them in becoming whoever they put in the center of their personal life map

The title on the center of my life map was “Mom & Wife Extraordinaire/Motivational Speaker and Life Change Leader”. Whoa, right? Not only is that a huge title, it’s a tremendous amount of responsibility as well. After I shared this with the group, I immediately wondered, now how in the hell am I going to achieve this?

Sometimes people get overwhelmed by the idea of their goals. We don’t often realize how the achievement of goals actually works. We have to begin with smaller goals first. As a prepare to take on the challenge of living up to my truest potential I have to be honest and face my limiting beliefs. For far too long I held back and maintained a low profile. I typically took the easy way out. Today, the easy route won’t work for me. I have two daughters and a spouse who expect greatness out of me.

In order for me to be the Mom & Wife Extraordinaire/Motivational Speaker and Life Change Leader I plan on becoming, I have to step up and be bold! I have to be giving and driven all at the same time. I have to make sacrifices and get busy networking. Things won’t happen for me unless I make them happen. I have to be spiritually connected, study my bible and maintain my relationship with my heavenly Father/My Creator. This is His plan and I am ready to live it out. I have to also always be in learning mode! We should never stop learning.

When we really want something, even if it is a big crazy goal, we have to go for it, and I’m going for it!

Married Mommy Family, please share your big and crazy goal?

Their Happiness Makes Me Happy

 My job as a mommy has brought me many surprises. I never knew I could feel the way I do about a person. This love is stronger than I have ever known. It makes me want to do everything differently. Putting forth greater effort, pursuing my dreams, and being bold and daring are all significant to me now that I am a parent. Because I know my children are learning how to navigate through life by watching mine.

My role as a mom has also brought a ton of worry. Almost every time my children aren’t in my presence, I’m praying they are ok. My daily prayer includes asking God to put a shield of protection around them. I ask that God protect their minds, body and spirit.

Every emotion my children experience I also experience. When they cry, I cry. When they hurt, I hurt. If I could limit the amount of pain they experienced, I would do it in a heartbeat.

On the flip side, when they smile, I smile. Their laughter makes me laugh. When they experience wins, I am their biggest cheerleader. I want the best for them in all things.

I live for their happiness. I want them to experience consistent joy. Even the small things matter.

For example, when my oldest daughter ordered and received a new Poloraid camera, her excitement was contagious. It was all she talked about. The moment it arrived, she couldn’t stop talking about it. And after she took her first picture, she talked about it a little more. She was giddy, enthusiastic and just stoked. She actually talked about it as I typed this article.

“This camera is the best thing I’ve ever done”

and

“didn’t I get a photo album from Granny”

and

“What should I name this camera?” were all quotes from my child about this new item. I have honestly been too  tickled. Although it may be just a camera to some, it was pure excitement for her. And excitement for her, means joy for me. It’s what mommyhood was intended for. It’s the ups and downs that make this role so fulfilling.

As a mom, I’m confident I’ll make it through the downs. It’s a learning process. But those ups, have become what my life is all about. I wouldn’t trade this role for the world.

How Much “Grown Folk” Business Do You Share With Your Children?

 

Children should grow up in a home which teaches morals, values, and demonstrates what healthy love relationships look like. This type of environment ensures that our children will carry those ideals on into their own families. And a healthy cycle of such a solid foundation will begin to travel through to future generations.

I recall back in the day not really discussing love relationships with adults. I am sure most of us have been told as children to stay out of grown folk’s business. But today it seems more and more parents are involving their children in adult conversations and matters of the heart. The question becomes, how much is too much? Should we disclose our financial realities, the difficulties we are having with our mate or any health challenges that will affect us long term? We never want to give our children a false representation of married or family life. Having them think that relationships and life will be perfect and there won’t be any challenging periods is setting them up for failure. They need to know there will be disagreements and couples won’t always see eye to eye. We must inform them that their relationships will be a direct reflection of the amount of effort they put into it. Instructing them on how to have healthy conflict is critical. Some may think marriage and relationship conversations are grown folk’s business, but our children are watching anyway, so we may as well use it as a teaching moment.

Even with all of that being said, there needs to be a positive way to deliver information, especially when we are heated and frustrated. Because they are like sponges, our little ones watch, listen, and repeat most of the behaviors they witness. We have to be careful that we aren’t sharing grown folk business in a way that will impact them negatively. Bad mouthing mommy or daddy is counterproductive. We should not allow our hurt feelings or broken heart to ever cloud our parenting judgement. We must consider our motives when we decide to share certain details with our children. I’m sure you have heard or know of a parent who is quick to criticize the other parent to their children. Statements like “I hope you don’t grow up to be like your daddy” or “Your Mommy does some really stupid things sometimes” are definitely not going to benefit the child.

We are human and occasionally our emotions get the best of us and we react without thinking. We say what’s on our minds because we feel it just had to be said out loud. So whether that’s to another adult or our children, it doesn’t matter. This is harmful. What we fail to realize is how it will affect the relationship and expectations that child has of the other parent. We are also giving our child permission to find a mate with the qualities and negatives we find ourselves complaining about. Before we choose to use our next disagreement with our significant other as an opportunity to school our children, we must consider the end result. Two very important questions must be answered before we proceed: What information do we want this child to know and how will it benefit them later? We want the grown up business we do share to be of the greatest value to our children.